Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Darker Days

The heart is turned heavy
Can't bear no more pain
My belief and faith has been washed away
By this first monsoon rain.

I had thought it would be a reliever
From the severe torching heat
But I don't feel the weather anymore
Nor I can feel the heart beat

I tried crying and out aloud
The tears used to flow with pain
But this rain didn't wet my eyes
Like a dew it vanished in vain

My throat seems severely choked
I am finding it hard to breath
The rain had a different lesson to teach
I was dumbstruck I just couldn't believe

Now I am like a swaying flame
Can blow off anytime it feels
I just can wait for the worst
I know there is no medicine that will heal.

I know I am doing good
Earning buck, they say I have a spark.
This monsoon rain has given me a message
The days ahead are dark. (Sagarmani)

Love Story

It was my first day in College.
I was properly groomed
I was searching for my class
As there were plenty of rooms..

I was reading the name plates
Hung above the doors
B.Sc-I read
Now I was quite sure.

I was among the first few to enter the class
I could've sat in the front but I chose the bench at last.
New faces entered one after one.
“There are no lectures today”, shouted someone.

Some seemed to be happy & some looked sad
Some started moving out and some ran fast.
I was sitting as the crowd was in plenty
I was waiting for the class to be empty

There she entered as gracefully as an angel
Her heels tapped the floor as she jingled her bangles
She looked at me, I near fainted with her smile
I fell in love, I was mesmerized all while.

She came near me, She greeted me Hi!
I nodded my head as I was little shy
I said there is no class today
“I know”, She said, “It will be a boring day.”

We checked out the canteen took few sip of tea
There were other new faces surrounding me
I greeted them Hi, they woke up to me
Introducing themselves from 1st year Zoology.

First few days in college, we felt happy and free
There were ten in our group including She and me.
The only group to attend lectures daily
We started to hang out over tea and coffee.

She never knew I had fallen for her
We were in a group and there was no fear
Neither did others know what I felt for her
I was in love then and for ever.

It had been almost a year and exams were near
She had given an interview to become a teacher
Preparations were on, we loved the group study
She was the intelligent one and I was a nerdy

We exchanged our notes and even our numbers
I was reluctant to call but she always remembered
We discussed studies over the late night calls
We used to study all day & in the night we recalled

Once I remember, we had planned out for a movie
Ten of us, we needed a break from study
Everyone were sitting in one row
She was next to me sobbing in sorrow

I made fun of her, she hit me on my back
We pulled each others leg, it was fun we were glad
Our group was same but I heard a rumor
We were the closest two amongst the others

Practicals were on we were dissecting a Crab
The crowd was in plenty it was zoology lab
A guy, shouted from her behind, “Congratulations to you,
I saw your name, you've cleared the interview.”

All were so happy, they hugged her with pat
I was unable to express as I was feeling sad
I stepped back, was smiling, but I couldn't show
How difficult the college would be, when She'll go.

Practicals were over we were preparing for exams
But we all met at every given chance.
One day we all were standing near the college gate.
Waiting for HER to come she was a little late.

She came to me, to ask , if I had mechanical tissues notes
I produced it right away as that would count on my impression votes
Five minutes later she came, and threw the notes to me
Took the same from other friend, her act was confusing me

I asked her why and she didn't reply
She stopped talking to me
I was wondering what I did
Thought will talk when I'll be free

It had been a week she didn't talk
I couldn't sleep I couldn't walk
I couldn't study I couldn't weep
I was sad and I felt weak

I decided one day, whatever it be
I'll go and talk and set the confusions free
I went to her and I greeted her Hi
She exclaimed “Good Morning!!!” as a reply.

I inquired the reason why she didn't talk to me
I am sorry if I have done something wrong to thee
She said, “I was in a hurry to go home that day”
You said, “Go, who've asked you to stay”.

I laughed to my content and I pulled her ears
“If this is a reason,” I said, “Don't talk to me for years.”
She smiled back, we started chatting again
After that incident more closer we came.

I was dead sure I had fallen in love
Had to tell my friends else they would kick my butt
I told a friend, he said, “ What are you waiting for”
Go and tell her before some other does

Frankly speaking, I had no guts
How hard he tried to tighten my nuts.
Suddenly, a plan stoke my brain,
To make her know my heart is in pain

I told a friend, “ You had come to my place.
You read my diary when I was washing my face.
You 'll go and tell her that you read my diary
Without my knowledge the news you'll carry.”

He went and told her that I was in love.
With her, so badly, he used his extra words.
Next day, I met her She was literally nervous
God forgive me, I shouldn't have done this.

Preparatory leave was on we were studying alone
We were not as close as we were before
I used to feel nervous and She also felt shy
We were like strangers I don't know why

One day I heard from one of my friend
That she has come to know about the plan
I was so scared as well as guilty
She would come home and slaughter my clan.

She stopped talking to me again as exams begun
I lost my faith as everything went wrong
She received a letter to join the job.
She would leave me here and not even buzz.

Exams were over she had to leave
My friends forced me to talk before she'd proceed.
They all walked ahead leaving two of us alone
I had to start, there was no other option known.

I said, “I shouldn't have done that
I should have made no story.”
She was calm, she was indifferent
Didn't listen to my sorry.

I said, “Hey I love you, but I had no guts,
Was scared, I'll lose you that is why I did, but...
Today I am in front if you as blank as a paper
Telling you, I love you, which I had said never.”

She said, “ I have never thought that way.”
Like a typical woman would say,
“I respect your feelings, they are pure
To get into relationship..I am not sure.”

I said, “I don't need movies, I don't prefer gifts.
I'll not ask you for kisses, your assurance is what I need.
I don't want to be a typical couple going out on date
Until I get settled I want you to wait.”

“You wont believe but from the first day I met
I have fallen for you and I can only swear
Today, I am here right here to beg
For your love so that my life would be best.”

I begged from the bottom of my heart
She said “ No, we can't get along, I'll depart”
She went away as I was looking at her
Sad and broken, I lost my first love.

I was sad but I was happy too
I shared my feelings' ch I never could do
I was satisfied, laying flat , I was grinning
Suddenly, I heard the telephone bell ring

It was HER, saying don't feel bad
We are friends thats the best we've had
We are close and the bonding 'll never end
We will spend our lives as best of the friends

We came close, closer than before
Where were we heading we both didn't know
Exams were over, she had to leave for her job
I would be far from my first friend in love

She had to leave tomorrow we all planned to meet
To gifts her stuffs and to congratulate & greet
They moved ahead again leaving two of us behind
So that we could spend some together some valuable time

I started, “Hey you're finally going huh!!”
She looked at me and said nothing much..
We didn't talk, walked all the way long.
I held her bag and she held my hand along..

A friend came & gave her keys with a huge smile
She said, “You guys go to my room, we'll catch you in while.”
We looked at each other we didn't utter a word
We changed our direction, started moving forward.

We climbed the stairs down, I was sad & bit upset
She was in front of me when she reached the gate.
She turned around, She smiled and She said,
“Hey, I think I should say, I think I'll wait.”

I smiled back but I was confused
Friends came back and clarified the words she used
It was “Yes” I finally came to know
I was blushing red and trembling from head to toe.(Sagarmani)

Bloody Death

There she stood still in the turn
As I drove the fog light was on
White she was wearing her body was burnt
It was twelve in the night as I blew the horn

She stood right in the front, I had to stop the car
She had lost her right eye and had a huge scar.
The windows were locked she came near to them
Banging like drums cracking the window pane.

She was screaming her mouth was wide open
One eye was bloody two hands seemed broken.
She rotated them 360 to bang on the bonnet
Blood spurred out as the fast falling comets

She suddenly stopped there was no bang anymore
I looked around the sheer silence roared
I was about to start I had to drive very far
I saw a shadow from the rear behind my car.

I turned around but there was no one
A relief but then I had to run
I thought I would accelerate to win the life's race
As I looked in the front she was there in front of my face.

The car zoomed up from the hill
Flying in the air I knew I was killed
It slammed on the rocks hitting the branches and the trees
I opened my eyes, sweating, it was a terrible dream.(Sagarmani)

Fate of my Nation

I have handed over my destiny
I have exercised my voting right
Tomorrow one of you will get the chair
Promising to make the nation bright

Many have come and many are gone
Its the speech that has the sweetest tone
When the time comes to work for us
You turn your deaf ears you'll know no one of us

The girls will be raped and borders invaded
The kids will die and cities get bombarded
You'll play a blame game its other ones fault
The terrorist who killed will file a case for assault

Youth will lose their jobs and you'll throw shoes at each other
You'll get your ample money why will you care for others
You'll cut some ribbons and hug some poor kids
My nation will not improve to degrade it you'll proceed

You'll consult millions to make a deal
You'll meet hundred times but will never reveal
That our fate is in the wrong hands no matter who
Again the time will come We'll be voting for you..(Sagarmani)

First Kiss

I had to leave the next day to morrow
She was sad and was in sorrow
I bid her goodbye assuring I'll be back
Wiped her tears and said not be sad.

She said she wants to come along to see me off
She had a house in the city and had to visit a doc
I couldn't say no and she came along
All day long we roamed around.

She gifted me a perfume, I wore her a ring
We both were sad that was the common thing.
The clock was rotating on its rapid pace
The day was dying the dawn winning the race.

We took a cab to drop me down
She'd see me off and go back to town
We didn't know when we'd be meeting next
Thousand things to say, we couldn't, we tried our best

She hold my hand as we walked the lane
I could hear the sound it could be my train
Her eyes were getting wet as we moved ahead
The train was standing we stopped our steps.

I threw my bag to the seat I had booked
I turned around, “Don't go”, said her looks
The train blew its horn I was standing at the door
It started to move the pain had no cure

She turned around and started to move
As the break squeaked letting the train not to move.
I jumped out and ran I didn't care if I missed
I hugged her & for the first time
..................................to each other we kissed.

Ghost...in real

Dead silence was roaring
It was dark and I was moving.
I was being hit by the huge water droplets
Being poured in surplus from the sky
I had to move I could not spare myself
There was no place to hide..

The hailstones stated to pour
Somebody was throwing the pebbles from high
The trees were swinging and branches were breaking
I was beaten up but I could only sigh.

I was returning from my tuitions
It was already pretty late
It was eleven in the night
I had to cross the graveyard gate

A narrow steep lane as I walked down
Pine trees were making the cracking sound
The mud was slippery I fell down several times
I had no torch I had to move in the dark without light

There was an acute turn I had to take
It was in the middle of the pine groove forest
The end had the graveyard gate
God's name was was what I had to take

As I took an acute turn
I didn't see the end I didn't dare to I bent down
I moved forward chanting mantras I knew
A lightning struck and now I could view

There was someone sitting in front of the gate
I could hear somebody crying in pain
The rain was so heavy yet the sound so clear
All my cells were overpowered with fear.

I forgot the mantras I stood there still
Hit by hailstones but I had no will
To move forward and to cross the gate
Of one those who were buried after they are dead

It was all dark I could just see when the lightning stroked
The creature there was not sitting it had already stood.
I was trembling in fear and shivering with cold
I could not move I was not bold

I had to reach home by hook or by crook
I ran with my speed I threw all my books
I crossed the gate didn't dare to look back at all
A human nature I couldn't stop it grew ten feet tall.

I ran for my life hard to survive
I slipped and fell but harder I tried
I reached home told the story to my mom
She told a man had killed his wife & a new born.(Sagarmani)

I miss you

I miss you when I wake up in the morning
I miss you when I sip the tea
I miss you when I look out of the window
I miss you when I am free

I miss you when I eat my food
I miss you as I knock the door
I miss you when my phone rings
I miss you while doing my chores

I miss you when its raining
I miss you when the sun is shining bright
I miss you when its cloudy and gloomy
I miss you when the weather is right

I miss you when I am low
I miss you when I am happy
I miss you when everything seems wrong
I miss you when I am unhappy

I miss you when I watch a movie
I miss you when I hear kids scream
I miss you when I see the chocolates
I miss you in my dreams(Sagarmani)

The Ghost that killed

He suddenly woke up while the wind banged the window
He had forgotten to close it before He slept.
As He reached to close the same, He saw a widow
She was looking at him as she wept

He was scared he latched and pulled the curtains down
He looked at the watch it was half past one
He could still hear her cry He peeped single eyed
She was looking straight to him, was furious as she cried.

There was no one at home everyone were out
His place was very secluded nobody would hear him shout
He switched off the lights, cuddle inside, his throat was dry in fear
He saw, curtains were raised, a huge scary face standing very near

He covered his face, breath increased its pace
He was in the epitome of fear and plight
He gathered some courage to pop out in solace
She was there right in front of his eyes

He cried out aloud He screamed he had to shout
He jumped off the bed luckily He picked up a rod
But she grabbed his throat and with nails she tore
He was lying in the pool of blood..(Sagarmani)

A Common Man Dreams.........

I have a dream as an every common man
Who works and sweats as much as he can,
Dreams which are bigger, bigger as ever
Hope to fulfill it, will set back never

I have a dream, to buy a car
A small land and a beautiful house
I have a dream to travel far
With my parents and my beautiful spouse

I have a dream to let do my kids
All the things which I never did
My dad is a simple man with his hard earned money
With lots of expectations from his young buddy.

My Mom wanted to fly up high
She wanted a diamond ring but dad couldn't afford to buy
He was spending all his money on his young lad
Waiting for a day to be proud and glad.

I know I have taken a lot dad
I did things which you never had
You sacrificed your dreams to push me on
Dreaming for glory from your own son.

I have a simple dream to do good to all
Remain happy forever till the death would fall
I have a dream and I'll thrive to achieve
Because dreams come true if you believe in it.(Sagarmani)